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The
following article was written by Sean's father. who has
generously allowed it to be reprinted here. It is the story
that every parent hopes and prays they will never live to
experience.
On the following pages we will show you the truth of just
how callous our medical establishment can be, in the name
of saving a few dollars.
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The Day The World Ended
By Rich McDonald
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The
cataclysm that ended the world - my world, that is - occurred
on May 26, 1999. At least I thought that my world had ended
as I applied CPR to the lifeless body of my once vibrant
11 year-old son who had just hanged himself. Sean had been
such a kind child who would always stop and visit with strangers
in wheelchairs, just because he wanted to make them happy.
Fifth grade had been a hard year for him at school, and
he had come within one week of surviving that school term.
Doctors had treated him but our HMO appeared to be more
interested in saving money than in saving Sean. This led
me to file a successful lawsuit, which I hoped would deter
them from repeating irresponsible behavior with another
child. It also allowed us to establish a Scholarship fund
at a law school so that aspiring attorneys would be able
to see that an HMO can be successfully sued.
This process was very therapeutic for me, but it was my
discovery of The Compassionate Friends organization that
really offered me a beacon of hope. After a telephone call
with our local leader, I began to attend meetings. What
I encountered was a group of people who not only understood
what I was experiencing, but who seemed genuinely interested
in my recovery from what is arguably life's greatest trauma.
It was great to be able to talk about Sean and to hear the
stories of other bereaved parents.
Prior to attending TCF, I had seen a private grief counselor
(who had never experienced the loss of a child). Additionally,
I had attended meetings of relatives who had experienced
a suicide in their families. These experiences were helpful
but the element that was missing was that most of these
people had not lost a child. I felt a greater kinship with
other parents who had lost children, regardless of the types
of death. Consequently, I was drawn to TCF.
As time went by, an interesting metamorphosis occurred.
I went from being a bereaved parent seeking solace, to one
that is now actively involved helping newly bereaved parents.
Yes, my heart still periodically aches from the loss of
my son, but those intervals, although still intense, are
lengthening. At the time of Sean's death, the grief was
of course all-consuming without any intervals of relative
normalcy. Gradually that began to change with time and with
my involvement with The Compassionate Friends.
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